I celebrated my 27th birthday last weekend. It was a great weekend filled with love and fun with friends and family. Oh yeah, and a new tattoo.
This tattoo, as with all of my tattoos, is really significant. This tattoo is a symbol of strength and fighting. This tattoo is a symbol of life. The lotus is a widely known and used symbol that has many meanings. For me, the lotus represents strength and stamina. A lotus flower has to fight it's way through the mud and murk of a lake to reach the sunlight and continue to grow and bloom into a beautiful flower. The stem of this tattoo is the national eating disorder recovery symbol. And that is what my life has been for the past several months; recovering from an eating disorder.
I don't want to get into the nitty gritty details for two reasons. First, I don't want to trigger anyone reading this who may have similar stories. Second, that is not my story anymore. My story now is one of hope and healing. And a lot of fighting. Some days are really easy, and the lies about food/exercise and its relation to my body are easily silenced. And some days are really hard. Some days I truly have to fight to make it through the day. But I do fight, because that is what it means to be in recovery, and that is my story now.
And so I got this tattoo. To remember on the hard days the reason that I fight. To be a visual reminder to me of where I've been, how far I'm come and where I hope to be someday.
So here's to anyone fighting. You can fight and you can live in recovery.
-AA
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