Friday, July 22, 2016

Gratitude


Have you ever stopped and taken a moment to think about 
how much complaining you do in a day? Sometimes from the moment that alarm goes off (like 25 times if you hit snooze as much as I do) to the moment we drift off to sleep at night, our entire existence revolves around complaining. We tend to live in self-centered, self-serving little bubbles, and are so vocal when things don't align with what I want or how I think it should be. 

I was recently reminded through the book that we are studying at Bible study that I am not the center of the universe. There is so much more to this world than me. Which got me thinking about how much I complain about things, because complaining is, essentially, me saying that my comfort, my ideals, my everything is the most important thing in this world.  


The opposite of complaining is gratitude. Being thankful for things that we so often take for granted.  With these thoughts swirling around in my head, I found a Pinterest post called "30 days of Gratitude." Each day is a simple question to answer about something you are grateful for.  I texted my girls and asked if they would want to do this exercise with me. Each morning I text the question of the day in our group message and all four of us answer it.  It's such a great way to share things that we are grateful for, to spend a few moments each day connecting on a deeper level. These questions can be used as a journal prompt, as a group discussion like we are doing, as personal reflection, as prayer.
In case any of you are feeling the same way I do, that I complain way too often, and am not nearly grateful enough, here are the 30 days of Gratitude questions. Feel free to answer any of them here; I would love to hear some things that you guys are grateful for! My friends and I are on day 5, so I will share my answers for the past few days, too. 
30 Days of Gratitude
#1. What smell are you grateful for today?
Clean laundry. 
#2. What technology are you grateful for?
Grocery stores/refrigeration, so we don't have to hunt and gather on a daily basis. 
#3. What color are you grateful for?
The fiery oranges and pinks of a sunset. There is just something so magical and peaceful in the colors of a sunset. 
#4. What food are you most grateful for?
This one isn't most grateful like the one food I love in life more than any other food, but for the moment of answering this question, I was most grateful for a healthy cereal that I found that was really good and also really good for me. 
#5. What sound are you grateful for today?
My dad singing.  Going through treatment after his cancer surgery, a radiation pill got stuck in his throat and damaged his vocal chords.  I grew up hearing my dad sing, but after his vocal chords were damaged, there were several years where he could barely preach an entire sermon, and singing was out of the question.  God miraculously healed him about 2 years ago, and he could/can sing again.  I choke up every time I hear him. 
#6. What in nature are you grateful for?
#7. What memory are you grateful for?
#8. What book are you most grateful for?
#9. What place you most grateful for?
#10. What taste are you grateful for today?
#11. What holiday are you grateful for? 
#12. What texture are you grateful for? 
#13. What abilities are you grateful for?
#14. What sight are you grateful for today?
#15. What season are you grateful for?
#16. What about your body are you grateful for?
#17. What knowledge are you grateful for?
#18. What piece of art are you grateful for?
#19. What touch are you grateful for?
#20. Who in your life are you grateful for?
#21. What song are you most grateful for?
#22. What story are you grateful for?
#23. What tradition are you grateful for?
#24. What challenge are you grateful for?
#25. What moment this week are you most grateful for?
#26. What form of expression are you most grateful for?
#27. What small thing that you use daily are you most grateful for?
#28. What small thing that happened today are you grateful for?
#29. What friend.family member are you grateful for today?
#30. What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?
Let's practice more gratitude, and less complaining. Let's practice acknowledging that Me is not the center of the universe. Let's work on this together. 
-AA 






Friday, July 15, 2016

The Beauty in Openness









My inner (non-family) circle consists of 3 amazing girls, without whom I seriously would not survive. Unfortunately, one of them lives several states away right now, so we aren't as connected as we would like to be. (Love and miss you!!)

We actually sat on this bench right here.
Last night, the three of us who still live in the same town got together and just shared our hearts; being open and honest about things going on in our friendship, things that we've kept bottled up for various reasons, things that needed to spoken, but that we had been avoiding like it was our job.  And while not everything shared was easy to hear or easy to speak, it was a beautiful time in our friendship, and all three of us walked away feeling refreshed, renewed, and like a heavy load had been lifted off of our trio.


Now I'm not sharing this to puff myself up. I am a bottler by nature, and in fact one thing I shared I had kept bottled up for the past 6 months. Other things shared were a little more recent, but all were necessary and important to be spoken and released.

This conversation prompted this blog post for one reason: I was reminded last night that being open with the people who truly love and care about you is a beautiful thing.  As I said, I am a bottler. I am independent to a fault. I hate admitting that I need people, and I hate having to lean on others for things. The very thought of letting someone know that they hurt me (aka that I'm not as tough as I pretend to be) makes me cringe.  But our conversation last night reminded me that we are meant to live this life in community. We are meant to be open and honest with those who treasure our hearts, and to bring beauty to each others' lives through that openness.

After our conversation, we spent the next two hours grocery shopping for our weekend away with our larger circle of friends. Nothing exciting or spectacular, yet you could feel the sense of peace and renewed energy in our little trio.  I am so thankful that these girls pushed us to be open with one another and share our hearts.

I feel like I'm rambling a bit today.  Maybe that's because I'm watching the clock waiting for vacation weekend to officially start. Maybe that's because I run on caffeine. Maybe it's some of both.

Regardless, my point is this.  Openness is beautiful. Being able to share your thoughts and feelings, your hurts and joys, is a beautiful and necessary part of our humanity.  Now, I think we definitely need to be careful about whom we are sharing those inner parts of our heart with.  But when you have people that you know without a doubt have your best interest in mind and are helping to guard your heart, openness and vulnerability are so beautiful.



Even when you're a mess.

Even when you know you're being dumb, but it's the way you feel, anyway.

Even when you don't know exactly what to say so you just word vomit for a while.

Even when you feel like you're the broken friend in your group and everyone else has there crap so much more together than you.

And that openness is so difficult.  We build up walls to protect ourselves. We bottle up our feelings and hurts and emotions and make ourselves our most likable versions to present to others. We pretend that we are made of armor and that we don't get hurt or have emotions. (Please tell me I'm not the only one that does that...) But living like that is exhausting. Always being in defense mode. Always feeling like you are on your own.

Life is not meant to be lived like that. We are meant to live in community. The very God who created us imago dei has community within his personhood of the Trinity.  We are not meant to be alone.

And an integral part of not being alone is being open with those who hold your heart.

There is beauty is openness. Embrace it.

-A.A.


Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Beauty in Brokenness



When I think of something that's broken, beauty isn't the first thing that comes to mind. Usually when something shatters into pieces, that item gets tossed out. It is no longer useful when it is fragmented. 

But when it comes to us as human beings, brokenness can be beautiful. 


I was reminded of this concept of the possibility of beauty in brokenness earlier this morning. To make a long story short, I was looking at pictures of mosaics, and thought about how amazing they are. All of these tiny pieces of broken material, shaped and formed into something beautiful. And as I was looking through all of these gorgeous pieces of art, it hit me. We are mosaics. Sure, we are broken and fragmented, but those pieces are forming together to make a masterpiece.  We might not see it; looking up close at the pieces in a mosaic doesn't show you the true beauty formed by those fragments.  But when you step back and see all of those shards and pieces put together, beauty unfolds.  

You might be in a season of complete brokenness, as I am.  There are days when all I can see is a single, fragmented piece of glass, and I have no idea how things are possibly going to get better or work out. I may be broken, but that brokenness is beautiful.  

Sometimes that beauty is brought by those in our lives.  The more people to whom I open up about my current season of brokenness, the more I am surrounded by love, help and hope. And that is beautiful.  

Sometimes that beauty is intrinsic in minor victories. Those moments where you can clearly see yourself fighting; you can see your own strength. And that is beautiful. 

And sometimes that beauty is in external things. a thought that hits us at just the right time, a song that we needed to hear, a quote that gets us through the day. And that is beautiful. 

There is beauty in brokenness. We may not understand it, and we may not always see it, but our broken pieces are being formed into something spectacular. 

-A.A.