Chick-flicks have sold us a pretty big lie: for something to be a romantic gesture, it has to be grand. If there aren't flowers and sunsets and big gestures, can you really call it romance? Our facebook feeds and instas are filled with people showing off the "big" gestures from their significant others. And I am just as guilty as everyone else. But I'd like to offer an alternative view. That's a bunch of crap. Now I'm not saying that bigger romantic gestures aren't important. Especially if your significant other's love language is gift-giving/receiving. I enjoy a surprise bouquet of flowers for no reason just as much as the next girl.
What I am saying is be careful to not overlook the seemingly small things. It's time that we acknowledge that those things, too, are romantic gestures and signs of love and commitment, maybe more so than the big things. Anyone can buy flowers for someone. In fact, I buy flowers for people on a somewhat regular basis. In one of my past relationships, I received flowers on exactly two occasions over the almost two years that we dated: once on Valentines Day, and once after a really big fight about how he never did anything to show me he cared about me. But it takes truly loving the person and real relationship for your significant other to do the small things. Those little ways of showing he cares about you and your relationship.
I moved into my first apartment last weekend, and spent basically the entire month of March freaking out above every little decision (thanks, anxiety) that went along with moving. I am positive there were so many times my boyfriend wanted to bash his (or my) head against the wall, especially when I would ask his opinion on yet another coffee table. But no matter how many times I would say "what about this one?" or send him like 30 pictures in a row when he was at work (I promise I'm not that psycho all the time. I just don't handle big things well.) he would always pay attention, actually look and give his honest opinion on what I was showing him. When I needed to go back to the furniture store 3 times and discuss couch options before spending the money, he was there and engaged in the discussion with me. When my couch was getting delivered, he spent his entire day off at my apartment so I didn't have to take off work, and could celebrate a friend's birthday in the evening.
My point of this post isn't to brag about my boyfriend. It's a call to all of us to remember, acknowledge and celebrate the small things. It's so easy to get caught up in the fake chick-flick world of romantic gestures and miss, or fail to acknowledge, the beauty of the small day-to-day gestures of love. Maybe it's time we use our social media bragging about our significant others to highlight all those little things they do out of love.
Maybe you love coffee, and he surprises you with a freshly brewed cup.
Maybe he opens the car door for you.
Maybe he rubs your back when you're feeling crappy.
Maybe he does whatever "little" thing he knows will speak to your heart.
I know so often I need to remember to not take those things for granted.
Appreciate those things. Acknowledge those things. Because he is doing them solely because he loves you.
For the redefining of the phrase "romantic gesture,"
-A.A.
No comments:
Post a Comment